Hello one and all!
I've had the best new EVER! I had a full service a couple of weeks ago - as in all over scans in my beloved Hotel Blackrock (my trusty hospital). The scanning went literally from my brain to my toes. The news is marvelous - apparently I still have a brain and it doesn't contain any cancer! Double delight! The rest of my body is still very much intact also and fantastically cancer free!
I've had the clear scan scenario many times before. So when I got my wonderful all clear last November I accepted it with glee, relief and unabashed delight. But there was a definite trepidation lurking in my mind. I guess I'd be weird if I didn't experience those sort of emotions at this stage of my life. But hearing my amazing oncologist Dr David Fennelly (Saint David chez nous) say those sweet, sweet words again, quite frankly, put me in a dream-like state.
'Emma you're in remission.'
God, I'll never get tired of hearing that...
Accepting bad news has actually become second nature to me. I know how to deal with the cancer diagnosis. I can cope. I take deep breaths. I calm myself and will myself to have the strength and fight to battle on. I can ask pertinent and often really, really stupid questions. I can force myself to be rational and live for the moment. I can take each day as it comes and block panic from setting in. I've learned how to do all of that.
But this good news thing is actually alien to me! I know I sat in Dr Fennellys rooms and stared at him like a stoned goldfish. I did the wide eyes and silent opening and closing mouth thing. Dr David's smile was so warm and his relief as palpable as mine, that I knew it was alright to believe my newly acquired good fortune!
Since the news - two weeks ago to the day - the wonderfulness of it all is settling in my mind. I still can't fully fathom it but I'm sooooooo thrilled! If you've just been diagnosed with cancer, if you're in the middle of treatment or if you've just finished treatment - take hope from my story. I've now successfully drop-kicked cancer 8 times!
I know I am lucky. I know I'm incredibly fortunate to have survived this far. Believe me I don't take it for granted - but I must stress - all I wanted to hear when I was diagnosed at first was that it is possible to win. So take heart from my situation.
Emma 8 - Cancer 0
You tried your best. You put up a good fight. In fact at times I doubted myself and wondered if you were going to win.
But here I am six years later holding clear scan results in my hand.
Sometimes dreams really do come true. I hope we never meet again, but if we do, let me assure you the battle will be as fierce my end.
Good riddance & I hope this is farewell for good.
(cue sound effects please)
*Blows loud raspberry while extending two fingers*
It's my daughters birthday in two days time. She'll be 11. So I'm off to bake chocolate brownies for her party tomorrow. I've 30 children coming to bounce on an inflatable bouncy assault course wearing pyjamas. I jest not - Kim decided she wants her pals to come in pj's! So fingers and toes crossed it's not lashing rain.
The day I was diagnosed with cancer the first time one of my immediate thoughts, crazy as it may sound now, was; who will bake my children's birthday cakes?
For now I have my answer - I WILL....
Love and light to you all and I hope your day is filled with positive vibes and that the sun is shining on your lives.
Emma x x