Emma Hannigan
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Onwards and Upwards!

5/11/2016

20 Comments

 
Picture
Greetings! 
I have been so grateful for the encouraging messages I've received from all my readers over the past few weeks. So I thought I'd give you a quick update. 
I began a new cancer treatment a month ago. I'm assured it's the most progressive type for me. It's as if the researchers went into a lab and developed a treatment that is tailor made for the type of cancer I get. In order to avail of it, I needed to tick a couple of boxes. I needed to have triple negative breast cancer - tick. It needed to be brought on by the BRCA1 gene - tick.
So, as we know the fundamental cause of cancer is damaged or faulty genes. Genes are encoded within DNA, so anything that damages DNA can increase the risk of cancer. However, a number of genes in the same cell need to be damaged before it can become cancer.
PARPs are a family of enzymes involved in various activities in response to DNA damage.
The new medicine I am taking are called PARP inhibitors. In basic terms (which are the only ones I can grasp) Parp inhibitors are a group of blockers of the enzyme poly ADP ribose polymerase. They have been developed in the lab by scientists and the are all about 'fixing' the cancer, rather than obliterating it and 'killing' it the way chemotherapy or radiation can. 
Blocking PARP may help to stop cancer cells from repairing their damaged DNA, causing them to die.
What all that translates as for me and other patients with a similar strain of cancer is this:
I've to take tablets twice a day. There are no bags of chemotherapy and no radiation. So I won't loose my hair and my blood isn't effected. So I'm not at risk of low blood counts. 
I figured it would be akin to popping two paracetamol, morning and night and flying around as normal. 
Oh no... The reality has been rather different.
I began by taking four tablets twice daily. Each one is a bit larger than double the size of a normal paracetamol tablet. So big enough to tranquillise a tyrannosaurus rex. They are snot green with nasty black stripes and look scary enough to frighten the cancer away by simply waving them at the lumps. After day one and eight T-rex bullets, my vision began to separate. Next came violent vomiting with a head ache so terribly painful that I feared my brain was trying to escape out my ear. I couldn't bear daylight, so I wore sunglasses in bed or while crawling to the bathroom to vomit. 
Never in my previous nine diagnoses have I vomited from any cancer treatment. So this was a new one on me. Anti-nausea medication didn't help and I honestly would've dug a hole in the back garden and climbed into it, if I'd had the energy. Next followed two days of sweats alongside the other vileness. Sounds, light and general living were all a trial and I would've happily passed out but the final insult was that I was wide awake - all day and all night.
Mercifully my oncologist allowed me to reduce the dose. 
The world began to come back into focus and a tiny spark of hope sprang forth. I have a definite pattern established at this point. 
I must eat before I take the tablets. I cannot drink coffee (boo) or anything with caffeine in it. I haven't drunk alcohol for months, but I'm assuming that wouldn't help either. And the most frustrating part is that I've the energy of a sloth. I'm managing my day by doing things in short spurts. I can get up and do the school run and a few bits around the house before going back to bed. I rest for an hour and I can do a few more things. Thankfully I am sleeping now - but perhaps my body is making up for the lack of sleep in the beginning and I now have my own version of narcolepsy instead. I could literally sleep on the side of a mountain on a bed of nails.
But I am fighting back. I'm attempting to do a mind over matter thing where I tell myself I'm not a bit tired and I make myself move. I've just started adding a walk to my day, which is a blessed relief. My weight has risen steadily even though I'm not eating half as much as before. I feel this is grossly unfair as I had envisaged myself having a perfect bikini body as I vomited my way through the beginning stages of this treatment. I know being ultra thin is completely irrelevant in the greater scheme of things, but all I'm saying is that it doesn't add up so therefore it's not one bit fair - grrr.
Moaning aside, there are incredible things happening with my cancer tumours. Yes, I do realise that this is without doubt the most important factor. Up until now, the cancer has been dotted happily around my neck, shoulder, underarm and head. The tumours have been enjoying a fabulous party, speeding, getting bigger, sorer and more rock hard by the day.
Oh how the tables are turning my friends! Some have shrunk and others are deflating and softening like butter in a microwave. So long bastards! I hope you're choking and feeling the pain as much as I've done for the past few months. 
I'm off my nerve blocker painkillers and surviving on over the counter ones - only when I need them. 
So things are going in the right direction! I am very hopeful that my cancer will be obliterated. I am crawling out of the pile of ashes and patting myself down. 
I will continue to walk. Some day soon I hope I can swim again and who knows maybe my jeans won't be as tight! 
For anyone reading this, if you have been diagnosed with cancer, or if you know someone who has, new and amazing drugs are seeping through. The hope and positivity surrounding cancer treatments in the future knows no bounds. 
Research is the key element in all of this. Without funding for clinical trials the tablets I am now taking wouldn't exist. So if you've donated to cancer research and wonder whether or not it actually makes a difference, I can assure you it does. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
​Many of you will know I am an ambassador for Breast Cancer Ireland. Their funds are all raised by the public and go directly to research. If you can spare €4 please text CURE to 50300. For readers outside of Ireland I urge you to make a donation, no matter how small to your local cancer RESEARCH group. 
Thank you all for the kind wishes, messages of support and general tsunami of love that I constantly feel. I am certain that talking about cancer and showing peer to peer support is vital. I know it keeps me going.  I'm off for my walk now. I'll look like a clock work dolly as I shuffle, but I have an image in my head that I look like one of those swift power walkers, so once I don't pass any mirrors I'll be fine!
Love and light to you all
Emma 💝
20 Comments
Natalie McDonald
5/11/2016 04:09:12 am

Emma,you are so brave as I know are so many other people.Wishing you continued success with your treatment.

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Alison James
5/11/2016 04:29:19 am

Emma, your positivity, resilience and pure grit is nothing short of amazing. I am thrilled for you that this horrific treatment is kickin those lumps and lumps arses! ! Keep doing what you are doing girl cos it's working. XXX

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Anne
5/11/2016 04:47:39 am

Emma you are such an inspiration and i quess a lot of the time you don't want to be you just wish you didn't have this terrible disease. Thanks for the update always thinking about you and wishing you well .Keep getting stronger.Hugs to you Anne

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Mary
5/11/2016 04:49:22 am

Glad the treatment is working and your feeling better. It's great there are all these new treatments available.

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Zaneta link
5/11/2016 05:10:11 am

You are amazing Emma. I wish to be that strong as you are. I'm in bad mood last couple of weeks but reading this... It made me cry, cry for hope and happiness that there is a new drug!! Stay strong!! I'm thinking about you xx

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mary cullen
5/11/2016 05:29:40 am

His Emma well done. In Just finished a year's treatment and had my port removed today. Feeling good and I wish the same for you

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Teresa
5/11/2016 05:29:42 am

Best wishes Emma in your fight to obliterate those tumours. You have amazing strength in your approach and that will stand to you. Donation made to Breast Cancer Ireland xx

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Helen
5/11/2016 05:36:33 am

You are incredible. Donation made. My son is a science student and is taking up an internship for the summer working on cancer research. He is proud to do it and hopes that his contribution, no matter how small, may work in helping to conquering this horrible disease. Best wishes for your ongoing treatment.

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Hannah Pubch
5/11/2016 06:42:19 am

Hi Emma, so sorry to hear what a hard time you are having, life can be so unfair. You are a very strong woman and i know you will fight this demon again. It will not beat you. You will be back running and swiming before you know it and writing another book. Have read all your books love them all , can't wait for the next. Stay strong Emma xxxxxxxx
Hannah.

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Liz Burke
5/11/2016 07:00:22 am

You are amazing Emma, that is a tough treatment! I'm on something similar and like you had an horrific start to the process. However almost a year later... on account of having the constitution of a wolly mammoth I'm tolerating the drugs and am now cancer free (again ) for over a year!!! 💪🏻. I wish you every goodness and strength. I have just finished The Perfect Gift and LOVED it- thank you! Keep well- you are an inspiration to so many. Xx

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Marisa Cassidy
5/11/2016 08:58:31 am

Hope your feeling well soon Emma. Keep strong x

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Liz molondy
5/11/2016 12:50:43 pm

Faith and hope. You are an inspirational lady. May your God be with you xx

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Una Mullin link
5/11/2016 01:15:26 pm

Emma you are an inspiration ,to us all
What you have been through over the last Number of years is unreal
Stay Strong and Be Positive
Sending you lots of L❤ve and a Big Hug xx

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Keara Masterson
5/11/2016 01:40:27 pm

Emma, you are phenomenal! Such an entertaining article about such a horrible subject, you tell it how it is. I hope you're getting stronger day by day now, I wish you the best recovery.
Thank you for sharing your treatment with us, I feel women should talk about it more so we're less afraid to be checked out.
My chemo was the worst stuff possible but I got through it well, I was very lucky. I want to spread the word now. No-one wants to find cancer but please keep checking for lumps, early detection can save your life.
Speedy recovery Emma, love and light to you too xxx

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Berni
5/11/2016 02:38:24 pm

You are truly an inspiration.We are sending you all our best wishes

We hope more people support cancer research and like you we are so grateful to the researchers who are working in partnership with us to fight this battle and as we continue to fight it.

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Ger Collins
5/11/2016 03:42:56 pm

As truthful and honest as ever!Hope it gets easier and easier for you Emma x

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Emma
5/11/2016 04:00:09 pm

You have an unerring ability to look on the bright side - a useful reminder for me as I wait to hear if my 19 year old daughter will be diagnosed with MS. Glad you are on the mend - again! Emma

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kay punch link
5/12/2016 12:25:25 am

Emma AMAZING as always Willing you well on the way on your latest journey Strong woman You can do it Head up Shoulders back Keep going

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Helen Connolly
5/12/2016 01:43:40 am

Emma so sorry you are, yet again, going through such difficult treatment. It sounds as if it's not in vain though . All the very best for the rest of it and hope you feel better and get better very quickly. xx

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Joan Loughlin
5/12/2016 01:47:09 pm

I've only 'done' FEC chemo, rads and surgery once. I am in awe. You really are an amazing lady xs

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