Mum & my son collected me and I arrived home to a furry welcome from Herbie and Tom and home made cakes! My daughter went all out with a banner, balloons and gorgeous cup cakes.
I spent the rest of the day and evening sitting in the garden watching a movie and chatting to my family. I slept like a log - poor hubby wasn't so lucky. I'm still making choking noises in my sleep. Sorry! But I hope this will soon pass once the radiotherapy burns ease in my throat and the swelling reduces in my neck.
All the above probably sounds utterly mundane. Where's the drama in that? Where's the punch line?
The truth of the matter is that I wasn't sure whether or not I'd manage to climb back on top of this bout of cancer. It had taken hold and it was robbing me of my life, day by day. Piece by piece the cancer was worming it's way into every aspect of my life. I couldn't dress myself because my right arm was so sore. The lymphedema meant it was so heavy and swollen I couldn't actually lift it, let alone make it useful. The tumours that sat on my nerves in my neck were causing pain that no amount of medication could quash. So I couldn't go too far or do too much. I couldn't even type, so my escape route where my imagination could take me away had been blocked for the first time ever.
I was in rag order.
I presented at the hospital, they took me in and jumped to immediate action. The care and expertise I got were second to none.
Now, three weeks later I'm home and I'm a new person.
I have gone from being utterly terrified to mollified. I'm still very weak physically. I have a long way to go, but I'm going in the right direction. I believe I will be ok. I feel as if I'm winning once more.
I have so many amazing people with me. I have never felt so lucky to be alive and I will savour this feeling forever.
Serious illness is draining both mentally and physically and I know I couldn't do it on my own. I hate that my cancer has a ripple effect. It touches everyone in my life. It affects everyone in my life. I can't help but feel guilty for the worry and stress I cause my family and friends. I know it's not my fault nor is it my choice to do that, but the fact remains that I am the reason they have had to witness my pain and suffering. My children don't remember a time when I wasn't sick. Thats a bitter pill to swallow, but all I can do is cling to the fact that I am still here. That I have no intention of going anywhere and that I am so intensely proud of them. They've been forced to deal with more than most and they do it brilliantly.
Thanks to every person who sent positive vibes. I am certain they helped to tip my situation in the right direction.
Home sweet home, there really is no place like it!
Where ever you are today, take a minute to look around at the people who really matter. Tell them how you feel or if it's easier show them. Make a cuppa and give them one of the nice biscuits, bake a cake or send a text or make a call.
Life is precious and it's far too short to spend time being miserable. Do something that makes you smile today. That's what it's all about. Everything else is superlative.
Love and light from a very contented home bird!